Folks, I gotta tell you: I can’t see for shit.

When I was a young filly, all full of promise and Aqua Net, I had a bit of a vision problem– but nothing I ever let interfere with my active lifestyle or my quest to make out with way too many high school boys. Once I got old enough to, I rarely ever wore my glasses. I didn’t even have a restriction on my license until I was 25.

My, how the sighted have fallen.

Today, my glasses are the first thing I look for and the last thing I surrender at night. I have multiple pairs– so un-sighted am I that I decided I might as well have some for fashion, since they were apparently going to be ever constant.

I’m so blind that if I lose my glasses, I need help finding my glasses, because I can’t see well enough without them to find them.

I am only 36. So this happened in about ten years. Truthfully– it happened even faster than that, because I haven’t had a significant prescription change in the last 5 years.

So, in five years, I went from “I can kinda see” to “holy hell you just picked up an electric razor and tried to use it as a cell phone.”

I can’t wear contacts, because my eyes are special snowflakes and whenever I try to wear contacts they are all “SWEET BABY JESUS THERE’S SOMETHING IN YOUR FRICKING EYE!!!” Yes, my eyes speak in all caps when I try to wear contacts.  I wore them leading up to and for my wedding, but that’s pretty much the last time I even tried.

I don’t hate wearing glasses. I can see with them, so that’s nice. But I find them to be a pain. For things like walking in the rain, running, tickle fights with my kids, going from air conditioned rooms to humid outdoors, and being able to see during sexy time, glasses are terribly inconvenient.

Also, I have really squinty little eyes, and glasses are not helping this problem.

I have long dreamed of getting my eyes fixed, and today is my initial exam to decide whether or not that is even a possibility.

Hubs and I have saved all year, since this would not be covered by my insurance. And there’s a good likelihood that that will STILL not be enough.

So, today, I am squinting my squinty eyes and hoping with all my hopes that:

  1. My eyes are not beyond repair
  2. My eyes can be repaired for less than the cost of a new kidney (i.e. within the budget Hubs and I have set)
  3. I can figure out how to do it soonish rather than laterish. (This is tricky, because someone has to be with me and a certain someone has already missed a bunch of work so his wife could fly the coop for ten days with her grandfather.)
So, that’s today. I can’t tell you how nervous I am. While this might seem like a vanity thing, it is SO NOT. Being chained to my glasses effects so much of my daily life. I always have bruises on my nose from kids banging into them. I can’t read in bed comfortably. I get zits on the bridge of my nose in the summer. The anticipation of… what this could be… I am seriously beside myself.
Wish me luck.