This just in: parents with newborns don’t sleep very much.

I know. Shocking.

When I was a little kid, my mom worked part-time nights. She did this because she wanted to be home with us, and this was a way that she could do that. She was a nurse, and by working that shift she could put in a few nights a week, make decent money, and still be there for us each day.

Mostly.

I say mostly because I have a lot of memories of my mother “not asleep” on various horizontal surfaces throughout our home. My sister and I would play Barbies, and she’d be “not sleeping” on the bottom bunk of our beds. Playing a board game in the family room? She’s be “not sleeping” on the couch. TV? “Not sleeping” in the chair.

If you believe my mother, she didn’t need sleep. (Just coffee, Diet Coke and popcorn. Which is all I ever saw her eat.)

When we needed anything (now that I have small children I realize that we bothered her for all kind of “needs” that were probably completely asanine,) we’d jiggle her arm and yell, “MOM WAKE UP!” You had to yell, my mom’s “not sleeping” was hard to disturb.

“I’m not sleeping!” she’d promise. “I’m just coasting!“

My mom “coasted” with a snore that could wake Jerry Garcia from the grave.

The only way my mother could keep herself awake was to get up and out of the house. So we’d wander the greater St. Louis area, checking out the art museum, the zoo, the playground– anything to keep us occupied and her vertical.

Thirty years later, I am so there.

I haven’t slept more than three consecutive hours since the baby was born. In addition to his nursing needs, I have to be up at 3:45 in the morning until 6am to do my part-time job. I am not complaining– I can’t tell you what that financial peace of mind has done for me. I go back to bed when I finish working– on a good day the kids sleep until 8 and I get two more hours of sleep.

On a bad day, my total hours of sleep is no more than 4 or 5 hours.

I am a person who needs sleep. I get dizzy and light-headed with less. I cannot physically function without at least six hours, but I am at my best on seven or more. Right now, unless I want to go to bed at 9pm every night, that’s just not an option.

So I’ve started “coasting” a bit. Sometimes that one Olivia episode is just enough to get me up and re-energized. I also make up  activities and errands to get us out of the house, get myself moving so I don’t drift off to sleep. I have begun to appreciate that not only does it help me stay awake and engaged, the kids bicker less when we are running around.

Still, I dream of the day in the not-too-distant future when Squeak is sleeping through the night, and we get some semblance of a pattern to our days. I dream of sleep. Delicious, deep sleep.