Housekeeping

There’s a bunch of inane things that I haven’t kept you up to speed on. For one, I got some new glasses.

They are kind of fun and sassy, and I would never have actually purchased such noticeable frames except that a) my prescription did not change, so my old glasses are still fully functional, and b) I’ll get another new pair of glasses in the next month or so as I try to bleed my vision insurance dry while I still have it. My second pair of new glasses will be more conservative, I think. I was just excited by the prospect of eyeglasses being actually accessories as opposed to just those things which save me from my now 20/400 vision. Since Lasik doesn’t really seem to be in the offing, (sad, sad Mommy– but at least she gets a baby instead) I might as well have glasses I like. I think it will be fun to mix and match my various pairs with the sweatpants I will be rocking when I am without employ.

Also, you’ll remember that I smoked some crack back in November and drank the mommy guilt Kool-aid, deciding to make each of my children a gift? I thought you might want to see how they turned out. Funk’s gift was a matching apron, chef’s hat, and baking mitt set. I did not use any patterns for this, but I think I figured it out fairly well. I used  St. Jude’s fabrics for the prints, in the spirit of Christmas (and also the spirit of being cheap– they were 50% off and I had some left over from the shirt I made Funk this summer.) The apron is reversible, but I didn’t get any shots of the other side (it’s the stripey fabric I used on the one pocket.)

Aaand… that would be the last time Funk has so much as LOOKED at this gift. Oh, she’s spent hours playing with the various McDonald’s toys we accumulated during our six days on the road over the holidays, but she has not put this on since Christmas morning.

And speaking of bitter, let’s look at some pictures of Noise in the chaps and matching vest I made him, shall we?

Shall we?

Ahem.

Shall WE?!?

No. We shan’t. Because that little stinker has refused to put them on, even one time, since he opened the box containing them.

NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP.

Yes, it is the only thing he actually asked Santa for. (I did get the chaps on him long enough to trim them to fit, but that’s it. He hasn’t worn them since.) I won’t force Noise to put on the outfit, because really why add drama to an already somewhat uncomfortable situation? He keeps telling me he likes them, but every time I offer to put them on him, he refuses.

Yes, I WILL have a vodka tonic, please. (T-minus two months or so. But who’s counting.)

And speaking of vodka, you’re going to need some after you see the next picture. But it wouldn’t be right to let the entire pregnancy pass without the obligatory belly shot. So… avert your eyes, because here it is.

Actually, it’s way gnarlier than it looks, even. You cannot appreciate the full glory of my stretch marks from this angle, and also? I am holding up my bewbs so you cannot see that bra-less they just sort of spread out over my belly like some kind of National Geographic photo subject. Lovely. (Also, yes, that is our one and only toilet behind me. Am a Rock Star.)

Anyway.  That’s the belly. I think this picture was circa 26 weeks or so? Ish? Yeah. GINORMOUS.

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